New Year’s Post

Last year, January 2nd, 2015, I wrote a blog about the new year and new beginnings (and new blogging). Clearly, it takes me a long time to get around to writing anything but poetry. Here we are again at start of another new year, 2016, already turning down the lamp on our night stands.

Today is the first day of the accepted New Year, but darling, start where you are. Start whenever, however many times. You decide the first day of your new year, each day, with your own choices and intention. Never be afraid to start. Never wait. And never be afraid to start again.

Wishing you a wonderful beginning, wherever you are.

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The Journey is the Destination

Three years ago, I started a blog. Revelation time: “Written by Ay” isn’t my first.

*gasp*

That first, well, the blog to which I’m referring, was titled “Married with a Degree” and did not last through the year it began. You can search, but that old blog lives no longer. (Great title through, right?) My sense of discipline in posting rather lacked, and I becoming increasingly irritated with the theme hole I’d dug myself. The writing embarrassed me, I lacked the confidence to make it more than it was, so I deleted it and stepped away from the blogosphere.

Lately though, a post from that blog keeps coming to mind, written by my direly introspective self about practice. At the time I’d realized the skill  I’d yet to learn, that I needed most to focus in this new stage of life, required practicing practicing. I had little practice in the art of practicing growing up. Things came easy to me (English, friendships) or they didn’t (Chemistry, running). If it wasn’t easy, I’d give up. Maybe I wouldn’t drop the class or sport, but my lack of confidence would force a mental resignation. Or, in the case of writing, I’d quite before ever getting started.

This seemed like a huge epiphany at the time, and I proudly wrote and wrote and practiced practicing, for a while. But here I am, years later, delving further into Yoga, into Buddhism, into myself, and the idea of practice stands up front and center.

Practice, and all is coming. –Rumi

The need and concept of practice is still true, and still holds weight. In fact, the idea has held weight for thousands of years in Yoga. They don’t call it a “Yoga practice” for nothing. One never does Yoga, because no one can perfectly perform each and every pose. There is always room for improvement, more to learn, physically and mentally.  And that’s what is so wonderful about the practice, that’s what pulls me into Yoga, and keeps me from giving up. Just a few days ago while beginning the Yoga Sutras translated by Sri Swami Satchidananda, “practice” featured in the very first sutra:

We cannot reach the goal by mere words alone. Without practice, nothing can be achieved.

I look back at that old blog post, and smile.

The lesson here is in the journey, in honoring our past, younger selves. So often we want to laugh or ridicule who we were, how stupid we acted, how naive believed. But we can’t deny that whatever we believed in at the time, we lived. We walked that path. Those steps, however mistaken, however clumsy, brought us to ourselves today. To now. Here. To the person regretting those detours and laughing at our own ignorance.

For me, this remembrance was a kind of validation. I didn’t lose the path, and while I may have forgotten, I was working toward these ideas I now value so highly before I really realized it. I was on my way, pulling more pieces of the puzzle from the pile, setting them out for later. Now, I can begin putting those pieces together.

Well, maybe a few,

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New Year, New Blog Post!

The New Year rarely feels like it begins on Jan 1. Sometimes, it’s the week previous, or three or four days after the 1st. There are times the first few days do feel new and fresh, only to lapse back in time for a few weeks, slowly picking up newness later on in the month. However the “newness” of the New Year hits me, it’s seldom when I wake up Jan 1.

Despite beginnings seeming rather ambiguous, I’m going ahead and marking the  official beginning of 2015 with a first official blog post. A few weeks ago I began sharing poems collected from my endless notebook collection. I considered doing this for awhile, and finally mustered the gumption to take the leap, real name and all. No submissions, just offering my words up, sharing them, with the advice from Picasso:

Don’t price them too high. What matters is that you sell a large number of them. Your drawings must go out into the world.

For those of you who’ve already stopped by, thank you! And welcome. There are rhymes and half-rhymes aplenty, and I hope you find something you enjoy. Or maybe not. Maybe you think you could write something better. Do it! I began writing poetry in 6th grade to create something I enjoyed, and I still do (usually).

Enough introduction: Whenever your 2015 starts, resolutions or not, with excitement, or complete indifference, may it be filled with laughter, love, hugs, and adventure!